it's worth it, it's all worth it

I wish I had the perfect words to tell how God has been working in my life lately. There is a big shift taking place in my heart and in my mind in regards to my Christianity. As if my entire Christian worldview up until recently has given much focus to the Lord solely as my provider: He will bless me if I do right, He will help me through my hard days, He will protect me. But what I didn't realize was how much that lends to me thinking this life is about me and my prosperity. What about me laying aside or selling all that I have, picking up my cross and following Him? What about forsaking all to be a disciple of Him? It's an entirely different life and it's less about me. But what will that look like? What will the costs be? I'm pretty sure that I've almost completely decided that the reward will be worth the costs... but wasn't Christ a little more sure than that when He chose to bear the weight of my sins on His shoulders?

I'm excited.
I'm fearful.

Maybe God’s perfect will for your life isn’t to just make you comfortable. I know that we ought to learn to be “content in all circumstances,” but I’m talking about this feeling of unrest that you sometimes sense in your soul. I’m talking about that passion that gets stirred when you buy a homeless person lunch or have a trip like I did. It’s the sense that all in this world is not right and that you might have the tools to fix it.

I believe that God actually wants to make you uncomfortable—to the point that your old way of living is ruined, that you have no other ambition than to seek and serve the least, left-out and forgotten. At first, it may seem painful, hard, or even confusing, but it’s worth it. It’s all worth it.

                                  - from The God of Chaos and Order by Jeff Goins