a little selfish

I really like my life right now. I'm content. Is that okay? I mean, if there is one huge thing that I have learned over the past year is to be content where I am, namely, in singleness. It took a long relationship to teach me this valuable lesson of contentedness and being more purposeful with my time. I remember a point of time in the relationship where I became very aware of a few things the Lord was laying on my heart, but when would I find time to obey, and do them to the best of my ability? Well obviously God saw me being much more useful as a single person for the moment. So I am thankful, content.

On the flip side to be being content, I have wondered lately if I am too content...spoiled. I've adapted to single life and I'll be honest, there are days where I don't want to give that up. I love my Wednesday evenings with my inner city girls. I love Thursday night Bible Study with friends from my church. I love having evenings free to make dinner with my sister, go for a quick trail run on the mtn, make cookies with one of my UMA girls, catch up with a friend, join a committee at church to help out others... I love having one free evening a week where I can just do my own thing and not worry about someone else's schedule. I love filling my weekends with awesome plans. I'm accustomed to something and selfishly, I don't want to give that up. Now, I suppose that if the Lord really has some amazing man for me, he will find a way to squeeze himself into the picture, and I will have to make room. Our children's pastor at church once told me that the greatest relationships (romantic and non) develop through servant hood. I pray that this guy is developing a servant's heart wherever he is in life right now. I knew something was missing in my last relationship but I couldn't quite pinpoint it until now. I wasn't necessarily discouraged from serving, but I wasn't encouraged either. The example that has most impacted my heart was when I first started teaching the two's SS class, and watching our coordinator come in before and after church. Her husband would always be by her side and would play with the kids in the room, remember their names, and help her with what she needed to do. He supported her. So for now I will continue plugging away at what the Lord has for me to do as a single person and pray that if and when my mindset and schedule need reevaluating, I will have a heart that will wisely embark on that mission.