my life would suck without you

Memorial Day weekend 2009. It was my third visit to the Florida Keys in the past 3 years. It's amazing to have such a good friend in such a great location that makes for such a wonderful vacation! The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Jen, Becky and I... tres amigas in the sunshine. We did a little snorkleing, boating, swiming, eating, sunset watching, driving and walking. Played with her family and hung out with friends.

Friends are so important. There are always going to be aquantainces in your life who come and go but then there are those friends who know your quircks, know your secrets. They know how you were in Jr. High and High School. You've danced together, cried together, parted ways and come back together, made movies together, watched movies together...the list goes on and on and what you realize makes those friends so special and unique is that they love you no matter what. You can go so long without seeing eachother or catching up but the second you're together, the stories and memories keep coming. They flow from an endless stream of great times and great people. You all live seperate lives with seperate jobs, families, dreams and friends but you come together and they all mesh into one. We had so much fun remembering all the great times we've had together. You can't replace friends like that. You can just say a joke and they know the circumstance and all the "inside" of it. You tell a small part of a story and they finish it. It makes stories good, you can just look through pictures and videos and laugh rather than flipping through and trying to explain the background and circumstances for each event and photograph. We each have dreams and everytime we're together we hear a bit more about them and encourage eachother in them. It was such a fun time that is hard to explain to people but it's a time that hopefully I'll remember forever. Friends come and go, (and move!) but there's always the real ones who you thank the Lord for every time you think of them.

Extremes

It's been a particularily bad night... mood wise. Our "mood" is such a funny thing, how in a sence it can be so fickle, and to those around us... determine who we are. You don't even have to do anything or have anything happen to you to have it change. It doesn't make sense. Well all week I've been on this sort of "high." Everything in life was just grand; no stress at work, friends wanted to hang out, leaving in a couple days for the Keys, bought a ticket to JH and WY for Britt's wedding, had a week off to go home in July, hair was cooroporating... you name it, life was good. There was this little voice in my head that would pop up everytime I'd get really giddy that would remind me I am susposed to focus my mind on things above, where thieves do not break in and steal and moths do not destroy. I absolutely couldn't make myself do it at the time though. I was so happy and had so many good things going for me that I couldn't imagine life better. I didn't want that 'happiness' to end and couldn't think on other things.

God blew me off that high horse today. Speaking of moods... right now I can't even imagine why anyone would want to live on this earth another day. I'm not being/thinking fatalistic at all, just realistic. There is so much evil in the world, people wanting to rape and kill, people who will do anything for money, people as selfish as they come. Store owners forced to close shop, people without jobs, people without food, people without love. Bills and laws being signed and passed that will only make life more difficult. An absolute downward spiral because as a people, we've turned a blind eye to evil. We look at a problem and determine it isn't ours to deal with, or ask what just one person can do and move on with our lives and the little bit we "can control." I know there's people out there who are in a much more difficult situation than I am. People who have much more to complain about than mood swings and "hidden" problems. But I think this goes to show that God cares about my tiny little heart too. I needed to be reminded that this place isn't my home, I'm just passing through. No matter what I am stoked about today, is nothing compared to what He is planning. What I'm wondering though is why I can't find that happy medium. Why am I either way excited or way depressed? I do know I need to spend more time in the Word and thinking about those things, things that will last.