giving or enabling?

"Giving to those in need what they could be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindest way to destroy people."

I'd love to have an in person group discussion on this quote but not being sure if this will happen.... What are your thoughts and comments?

Greenville, SC

I love Lynchburg, but a weekend away is always exciting. This past weekend I traveled down to Greenville, SC to visit with my good friend, Tiffany. Tiffany and I became good friends through our high school youth group at church. Post high school, we went to the same Bible college out in WY (different years), I was able to visit her in CO when she worked at a ranch out there, and I was also able to be in her wedding! After getting married she moved to the suburbs of Atlanta and soon after that I moved to VA. We've developed this tradition of meeting half way for weekends together and I always look forward to them! I wish I could do this with all of my out of state friends!

Never been to Greenville? I would definitely recommend checking it out sometime; it's most attractive feature to me is the downtown area, namely Falls Park on the Reedy River. It is such a large park/recreation area with an extremely welcoming and relaxing outdoor atmosphere. Tiff and I met up downtown at this wonderful restaurant, The Lazy Goat. We then walked around, got some gelato, walked around some more just catching up with one another's lives. Tiff is pregnant with their first child so it was exciting to see her pregnant and talk about all the changes a baby bring along with it! We had many wonderful meals downtown, enjoying the sunshine and the suspension bridge towering over the park below. We played mini golf and arcade games Saturday night and spent Sunday morning at the Greenville zoo. Such a relaxing, fun weekend! Tiff left to go back home after Lunch on Sunday and I just went back to the park with my book in hand and relaxed in the sunshine! As much as I love traveling for the sake of experiencing new sights and surroundings, I always look forward to the chance to sit down with a book or a game or whatever and just soak it all in in the midst of go, go, go. It's funny, of all the plans that my cousin and I made for our Paris trip (trip that was canceled the day before we were to leave), the plan that I was most looking forward to was a picnic in the park, good book in hand, and Eiffel Tower off in the distance.... ahh... someday.

Grandma Says...

Sometime over the past year my grandmother (only living grandparent) and I have become pen pals and I am absolutely loving it. Not only is it fun to receive letters in the mail, but I also enjoy the opportunity to carry on our relationship in this way despite the 700+ mile distance. My grandmother has character and I love it. She can get sassy and critical, but after I am done being offended or laughing out loud, I always know that her comments are rooted in love and (usually) good intentions.  So, in a 'bless her heart' type of mindset, I've decided to start a little series of posts containing stories from her letters. I hope I can write them in a way that you might be able to enjoy these comments as much as I have! I will start with two letters as I have these two clipped to my cubical wall at the moment.

Grandma Says #1:

Not funny, but just a comment that I hold dear because of it's encouraging nature. Speaking about my inner city youth ministry she wrote,

"it reminds me of a song 'after all He's done for me, how can I do less than give Him my best and love for Him forever, after all He's done for me!' I also was reminded of the verse, 'only one life will soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last."

Grandma Says #2:

Now this letter came in response to my informing her of my plans to go on an orphanage missions trip to Kazakhstan this spring.

"I know you are so excited about your pending missions trip but I hate to see you expose yourself to all the dangers in a Muslim country like that. I would say - the Christians there could teach English if they want it... You are such a precious, valuable girl. Why expose yourself to dangerous air travel and possible life threats from Muslims there - use your vacation to come see me! I'm a good cause, don't you think?"

She goes on to say how she lays in bed worrying about me and is unable to sleep because of it.

"I know you trust God to care for you, but in this case, the mission doesn't seem a wise endeavor considering the conditions."

Like I said... 'Bless her heart' =)

pinterest food

Is your Pinterest food board as overwhelming a sight as mine? I mean all of these pins definitely have something in common... they all made me drool a little bit when I first laid eyes on them, but when am I going to make them all!? I've even sifted through them and deleted the ones that are just too complicated and I know I will never make (you know, like sifting through your facebook 'friends'??) and there are still so many. Maybe I should start with one recipe a week? If it's good, it gets printed and put in my recipe binder. If it's bad, it's deleted and never seen again. That sounds like a good idea, right? OH.. maybe I'll blog about it like everybody else and their mother is doing right now.... okay, maybe I won't.  Maybe only if it is a to-die-for recipe, then I just want to share the wealth!

Angel's Race 2012

This past Sunday was my second Angel's Race Triathlon. I've concluded that no matter the weather, it's just always a great race and I hope that I can be a part of it for a very long time. The rain put a damper on things early in the morning but once I got into that pool and started racing, I hardly noticed. I was mainly worried about a slick bike course but the conditions were just fine! I ended up with a time of 1:32:06 which was exactly two minutes faster than my overall time last year.

Swimming, transitions, and biking improved slightly but I was just a little slower on my run this year. I think that next year I can keep my swim, and transitions about the same if not a little faster, I really think that I can improve a little on the run and a good amount on the bike.  I'll need to work at it and attack a good amount of hills leading up to it but it can be done! Finishing the bike under 51 minutes would be amazing, we'll see!

The best part of the race was finishing up on the bike, coming around the corner to head into transition and hearing, "Go Miss Marissa!". James and Juli had brought nine girls from Urban Mtn. Adventures - it was SO fun having them there and cheering me on!  Annetta, Keely, and Jimmy were also there - I have such great friends! Support is awesome. It's truly a great picture of life and the importance of bearing one another's burdens even if all you can do is show up and be their biggest cheerleader.

REMEMBER FOR NEXT YEAR:

Just a couple things for my own reference to remember for upcoming tri's and especially Angel's 2013

Pool
-be sure to set up for a good, strong kick off every time
-relax, you're not going to die
-follow all the way through with stroke, strong final push at end of each stroke
-use all the arm strength I have in me... the rest is leg power
-tri shorts with less padding than my bike shorts
-7 minutes or just under, will pick up most time on bike though
-last and most important, don't ever, EVER wear something in the pool that you haven't worn before race day. =)

Transition
-don't worry about socks
-don't add layers if I don't need to. if needed, zip up may be quicker than over the head
-review steps in head over and over and over and over

Bike
-train hard, don't miss Sunday afternoon training rides, train on more hills
-goal time under 51 minutes
-set bike computer
-CO2 and tire changing stuffs
-possibly buy Velcro road shoes

Transition
-

Run
-pace myself, but not too much, still want a good time
-under 27 min would be great
-all the energy my legs had at the end... use some of that to speed up

a little selfish

I really like my life right now. I'm content. Is that okay? I mean, if there is one huge thing that I have learned over the past year is to be content where I am, namely, in singleness. It took a long relationship to teach me this valuable lesson of contentedness and being more purposeful with my time. I remember a point of time in the relationship where I became very aware of a few things the Lord was laying on my heart, but when would I find time to obey, and do them to the best of my ability? Well obviously God saw me being much more useful as a single person for the moment. So I am thankful, content.

On the flip side to be being content, I have wondered lately if I am too content...spoiled. I've adapted to single life and I'll be honest, there are days where I don't want to give that up. I love my Wednesday evenings with my inner city girls. I love Thursday night Bible Study with friends from my church. I love having evenings free to make dinner with my sister, go for a quick trail run on the mtn, make cookies with one of my UMA girls, catch up with a friend, join a committee at church to help out others... I love having one free evening a week where I can just do my own thing and not worry about someone else's schedule. I love filling my weekends with awesome plans. I'm accustomed to something and selfishly, I don't want to give that up. Now, I suppose that if the Lord really has some amazing man for me, he will find a way to squeeze himself into the picture, and I will have to make room. Our children's pastor at church once told me that the greatest relationships (romantic and non) develop through servant hood. I pray that this guy is developing a servant's heart wherever he is in life right now. I knew something was missing in my last relationship but I couldn't quite pinpoint it until now. I wasn't necessarily discouraged from serving, but I wasn't encouraged either. The example that has most impacted my heart was when I first started teaching the two's SS class, and watching our coordinator come in before and after church. Her husband would always be by her side and would play with the kids in the room, remember their names, and help her with what she needed to do. He supported her. So for now I will continue plugging away at what the Lord has for me to do as a single person and pray that if and when my mindset and schedule need reevaluating, I will have a heart that will wisely embark on that mission.

Ode to Krogs

When I am sad I go to Kroger because Manager Special's (MS) cheer me up. Fact: I almost always buy MS, even if I don't need the item. Fact: I've enjoyed many delicious $1.99 dinners because of them. Today I enjoyed a 25 cent bag of salad complete with croutons and lite Ceaser dressing - it was the most delicious 25 cents I've ever eaten. I should find the Manager and give him a big hug for all his specials.

overwhelmed with goodness

Praise God for His goodness - I haven't been able to get enough of it lately. He's got me in His hand: a hand that comforts, that reassures, a hand that prods. Prodding me to seek and to find. He's so easy to follow, so easy to trust, right now. I feel spoiled and sometimes fret about how I will look to Him if (when) a really difficult time comes my way. But He is always the same, He never changes... He is always the same, He never changes!

Of all the many many years I've dreamed of serving orphans overseas, He's taking me there now. Now, when I can return to Lynchburg and continue serving the orphans here -not just return to my normal life and wonder what I should be doing. He's giving me guidance as to using my time more effectively for Him, to be able to look back someday and not regret (too much) time wasted. Material possessions - that's what He's digging into my heart and conscience about right now. I need wisdom, but I keep coming back to... in the end, seeing His face, am I more likely to say, 'Lord, I wish I had a nicer house with cute decorations and more stylish outfits' or 'Lord, I don't know why I didn't give more of my (HIS really) possessions to the poor and needy'?

Heidi, Jenn, and I

Peter Pan at LU Theater

This past weekend was great.  I was out of work Thursday and Friday with this nasty head/sinus thing. My sweet friend, Courtney, brought me Panera soup on Friday in between her babysitting jobs. What I love about Courtney is she knows when she doesn't need to ask, and she just does. Her text said, 'I'm bringing you soup after work.' That didn't leave much room for discussion. I want to be that kind of friend. Saturday was pretty relaxing with a pedicure with my wonderful friend, Keely and then a little shoe shopping for my friends' wedding that evening. I had a great time at the wedding as well, weddings are always fun for catching up with people! Jennifer was a beautiful bride and I am so happy for them both. I taught the two's on Sunday morning and then went to the park with Keely - I love the park when it's sunny! From there I left to pick up Princess for our date at Peter Pan which was playing at Liberty's theater. They are incredibly talented and Princess loved it... all three hours of it (I may have nodded off a time or two!). After grabbing a few groceries on our way home, we made Alfredo pasta, salad, and garlic bread for dinner; followed by some chocolate chip zucchini bread and delicious fruit smoothies. It was some awesome QT! I am getting to know her a little bit better and it's really fun to see a little bit of progress each time I see her. I still haven't the slightest idea of what difficulties/abuse she has endured in her short life, but all I can do is be a friend to her, hopefully a good example for her to see...and continue to pray...and pray... and pray.

And now it's Monday. I hadn't made an appearance at the gym in over a week for various reasons so going to SuperFit this morning made me a hero to myself and since all heroes need rewarding, I went to Subway for breakfast. They have this awesome deal where you buy a breakfast sandwich and get a 6" for free! I'm pretty sure my second sandwich was intended for lunch... it didn't make it till lunch, it didn't even make it till I got out of my car for work ;-) Oh well, I need all the protein and 'healthy' calories I can get as my triathlon is this coming Sunday. I already foresee  needed a lot of chocolate and hamburgers to reward my body for what I am about to put it through =D

Have a great week!

Well It's five in the morning and I am lying here, awake.  I know I am sick, just debating whether or not it is simply a bad case of allergies or if I've caught a little bug. Anyways, Pride and Prejudice is being played again but as powerful a sleep aid it has been to me, it doesn't seem to be able to hold It's own against a sore, swollen throat.

Blind date #1 = completed with only slight nervous breakdown and minimal embarrassing, awkward remarks made on my part. A first date is the ultimate two-sides-to-every-story experience but I really enjoyed spending a Friday evening getting to know a nice guy who is able to carry on a good conversation.  I only wish someone had reminded me to set aside my competitive nature for one evening and allow him to win disc golf. I feel bad now - haha.

so i have my first ever blind date tonight. he suggested disc golf, that's a pretty good start! haha

it's worth it, it's all worth it

I wish I had the perfect words to tell how God has been working in my life lately. There is a big shift taking place in my heart and in my mind in regards to my Christianity. As if my entire Christian worldview up until recently has given much focus to the Lord solely as my provider: He will bless me if I do right, He will help me through my hard days, He will protect me. But what I didn't realize was how much that lends to me thinking this life is about me and my prosperity. What about me laying aside or selling all that I have, picking up my cross and following Him? What about forsaking all to be a disciple of Him? It's an entirely different life and it's less about me. But what will that look like? What will the costs be? I'm pretty sure that I've almost completely decided that the reward will be worth the costs... but wasn't Christ a little more sure than that when He chose to bear the weight of my sins on His shoulders?

I'm excited.
I'm fearful.

Maybe God’s perfect will for your life isn’t to just make you comfortable. I know that we ought to learn to be “content in all circumstances,” but I’m talking about this feeling of unrest that you sometimes sense in your soul. I’m talking about that passion that gets stirred when you buy a homeless person lunch or have a trip like I did. It’s the sense that all in this world is not right and that you might have the tools to fix it.

I believe that God actually wants to make you uncomfortable—to the point that your old way of living is ruined, that you have no other ambition than to seek and serve the least, left-out and forgotten. At first, it may seem painful, hard, or even confusing, but it’s worth it. It’s all worth it.

                                  - from The God of Chaos and Order by Jeff Goins