cool

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it happens soo often that i wish i was more creative than i am. why do some people get all the creative juices and the rest of us can only ask forgiveness for our envious thoughts? i recently re-discovered this website called etsy.com. it is basically where creative congregates. it's so beautiful it's annoying. here is one of my recent loves i've discovered. i want to buy something (or 10 things) new every day.

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go with the flow

Waking up in Paris...one of the most magical cities on earth. Eating a lovely french breakfast in a local cafe and hopping on the Metro to make it to the Eiffel tower for our scheduled ride to the top. Grab a ham and cheese sandwich from a local bakery and walk to the park for a picnic lunch.

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It hits me that that was supposed to be my day today, but instead, April 21st, 2010, finds me sitting at my desk at WSET in Lynchburg, VA... dreaming. It doesn't seem real, it still feels like all that planning and preparing for the trip was a dream. It may as well have been. I can dream or be angry/annoyed all I want but it won't really change a thing. I am so thankful I'm not angry. I recall throughout the entire planning period that I kept having feelings of doubt regarding this trip. I usually chalked it up to, 'oh, I don't have a plane ticket in hand. If I had a plane ticket I would be more excited than I am now.' But I honestly don't think that would have been the case. I just remember being annoyed with myself for not having more excitement about the trip. I mean it was an AMAZING, once in a lifetime trip that I had the opportunity to take. I think God was sparing me throughout for how it would all turn out. I am bummed when I think of all the amazing pictures I planned on taking, the sights I would see, and the things I would experience. Maybe another time I will be allowed to take a trip like this one. As for now... I am looking at tickets to fly to Jacksonville for a week in June. Now THAT, I am excited for.

voice

Not that I don't want the whole world to know... cause I do... but I still don't feel the need to post things like this on my facebook wall, something about it loosing some intended meaning and value... this is me 'shouting from the rooftops...'

I have the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.

That's it. And I mean it with all my heart.

travel frenzy

How things change... eh? I guess we just have to roll with the punches, what else can we do? I began this week shopping every chance I had for my Paris/Holland trip. Today, I woke up feeling almost certain that the trip won't happen. Nick and I were supposed to leave for Paris on Tuesday afternoon. This stupid volcano had to erupt altering all air traffic to and from Europe. That is sort of a pretty picture though! Pretty amazing! Because Nick works for the airlines, we were going to fly standby. Under normal circumstances, we would be on a flight most likely. Now... they are saying that even BOOKED passengers may be put off for a long time. Airlines could be backed up for months!

So anyways... I have so many thoughts and feelings going through my head right now and I am trying to keep them all straight. There are options. I talked to my boss and I CAN come in next week if I want to. That is nice because it gives me flexibility in my plans. Any decision will be last minute but at least I know I can still work next week and take my vacation another time. Options for a later time may include visiting Holland next month with my parents, or possibly going to Italy with Kristen and Heidi in July. Options for next week are pretty limitless. Nick suggested I pack for either a Europe vacation AND a South American vacation so when we get to the airport and hear the prognosis on standby seats to Europe... we could always hop on a flight somewhere NOT along the path of the hazardous ash! I got really excited at first. That meant adventure... almost limitless! Just hop on a flight and be adventurous for a week! Wow - who really gets to do that? Then I got to thinking... I may have to pay more for my ticket... also we would have to pay for housing as opposed to Holland having a free place to stay. That could REALLY add up. It would be OKAY... but I don't know how eager I am to spend that much money on a place I 'sort of' want to go. I REALLY want to go to Holland. We could also head over to Jackson Hole... San Fransisco... there are so many options. What to do, what to do. Nick also seemed to think that if we waited a couple days in the airport maybe we could catch a flight straight to Amsterdam. We'll just wait and see! That's all I can do. At least I have options, right? I can't complain too much.

Heidi and I are also trying to find a new place to live by June and that is slightly stressful. Why does $$ always have to be an issue? We are starting to HAVE to look at places out of our price range just so that we'll be somewhere where we feel safe. I guess I'll just have to babysit some!

Co-Op

VEGGIES galore! I joined this co-op with a local farm. You buy a membership for $35 and here's what you get...


-24 weeks of all natural vegetables!
-From May to October
-Members choose what vegetables they want
-Five pounds per week equals 120 pounds
-Eight dozen ears of sweet corn
-One ten pound pumpkin

AND.... a free hay ride! Yippee!

I am excited, I think it's a really good deal. 5lbs of veggies every single week from May through October! And they are fresh, LOCAL. Zero pesticides. I love it. I get to choose which veggies I want too, I just go down to the market each week and pick them out! I asked Dennis to go in with me because I really don't think I can eat THAT many veggies each week - but maybe I can. Either way, we eat enough meals together that it will help none of them go bad.

mmm.... spring

My spring babies... aren't they beautiful!? :-)

...and the heart breaks

I'll be honest. There are a lot of things that scare me about marriage but by far the biggest, is the whole cheating aspect. It freaks me out. I read all these books that tell me, as a woman, I absolutely have to do whatever it takes to fulfill all of my husbands wants and needs...whether I feel like it or not, or else he's going to look for those needs to be filled else where. That's a scary thought. Obviously if I marry someone, that would be my desire because I love him... but what if we stop communicating one day the things we need to feel fulfilled and I slack off. Is he going to want to stay at work longer because that's where he receives encouragement? Is he going to play sports more often because that's where he gets the "good game, nice work" rather than from me at home? Is he going to talk more with that woman who tells him the things he wants to hear and who gives him undivided attention? Wow, marriage is hard work and sometimes I am scared out of my mind. I pray that parents (especially Christian parents) will be raising their sons to know and understand what marriage is. It's highs and it's lows. To not grow up with the thought that divorce is an option...because the LORD HATES divorce. There are too many guys out there who I don't feel have that strict of an opinon on divorce and marriage. Some just figure they'll stick with it till there are issues, and some have all intentions of sticking with their wife for the rest of their lives but change that opinion down the road because of friends or feelings or whatever.

My mom told me this morning that my aunt (her sister) has been going through a really rough time because a couple weeks ago they found out that her husband has been having an 'inappropriate relationship' with another woman for the past 14 years! Wow, that makes my heart break. I can't even imagine the feelings of anger, betrayal, resentment that would come with that. I would literally want my life to end. Everything you knew about this person was a lie. You thought you were working as a team but something changed. It was gradual, but boy did it change. It just makes me sick to hear. I praise the LORD that she has 4 wonderful adult boys and 3 wonderful daughter-in-laws who are taking care of her and doing their best to protect her right now. WHY though? Why did he have to do that? Why does he still think that he has done nothing wrong? How can you forgive someone like that for hurting people that you love? Now, I've been hurt before... felt betrayed... and I've learned to forgive. The LORD has a way of showing us how to do that. But that is so hard to imagine at this moment.

I am going on a trip to Europe with her youngest son, Nick, in just a couple weeks which means we are going to have a lot of time to talk. Please be praying that I will have some words of encouragement for him that week. I told him this morning that I am praying for him but I don't know exactly what he's feeling. I think he is a Christian but I am not exactly sure, he tends to live a very worldly lifestyle. I just hope that I will be able to show him the real love of Christ and be able to pray with him and for him.

It is spring, my toes are so happy :-)

playing catch up

Jen says I need to post again. Last Saturday - Terrapin Mtn. Half Marathon. I remember I was pretty scared. It didn't really hit me till like the day before and I was just like, 'what the crap did I get myself into?' Well I couldn't think of any excuse to back out (especially since Dennis was running it as well) so we ran. I hated myself at the beginning. It was cold, probably in the 20's, with frost on the ground. We started off and it wasn't too long before the sun began to rise, showing off the beautiful hills and valleys. There were some low lying clouds scattered through the valleys and when the sun hit those, it was just spectacular. I kept running... never warmed up really. Anytime my feet would warm up, we'd have to run through a river and I'd be wet until the next crossing. Speaking of water, there were some amazing waterfall views as well. I think if I am ever going to run another long distance, I want it to be on a course like that. It was challenging, yes. But when I compare it to the road half marathon from last fall, in Richmond, I enjoyed this one SO much more. Richmond was flat, so it would make sense that it would be easier... not for me. I think because it was flat, I had to excuse to stop and rest. I felt good when I finished Terrapin (not physically, but mentally) because I honestly felt that I had done my best that day. I ran many times when all I wanted to do was walk. I kept telling myself that I didn't pay $50 to go for a hike... so I ran. And I feel like it paid off, I had a goal time of finishing in 3 hrs 10 min and I crossed that beautiful finish line in 3 hrs 11 min. It was rough, and I won't forget some of those hills I had to climb or the almost torture of running straight down the mountain, but it was so worth it and I would encourage anyone who thinks about wanting to maybe run one, to train, and just run.

That was last weekend... we just had Easter weekend. It was such a beautiful weekend. Friday night I went to Dennis' church, Grace, for their Good Friday service. It was a really unique service and I enjoyed that a lot. It wasn't long so we headed over to LU to watch the baseball game, perfect evening for baseball. Saturday morning Dennis had a race at LU with 2 of the boys from his running club. Again, it was another great day to be outside, and his boys finished. I was proud of all of them. Sunday morning I went again with Dennis to church. I seriously wish I had video or at least photos to post from the service. It was incredible. It was the most memorable Easter service I've ever been a part of. It was a huge celebration. They had dancers, a cross up front that we all 'flowered' so much singing. It was great, it was different. I really enjoyed the service.

One more story...Sunday night was my first visit (for myself) to the E.R. Dennis and I were fishing the lake in the canoe. Thankfully we caught at least 5 fish before we had to head back. I had this decent sized large mouth bass on the line and because I has just let one go, Dennis recommended I grab this one by his bottom lip to bring him into the boat. I tried and he was SO wiggly that we both sort of freaked out and he ended up catching my finger on the remaining barbed hook. It was a little scary once I realized how stuck I was to this stupid fish squirming around. D saved the day though and got the fish off and freed one of my fingers. He had to bring us back to shore though before he attempted to take the hook out of my finger. He cut it free to try and pull it out. The barb was too strong so we ended up in the E.R. They took X-Ray's of it to make sure it wasn't in the bone and eventually, in Triage room #3 the lady numbed it, cut the barb free, and got that silly hook out... next comes the E.R. bill. It was all fine, I didn't enjoy how drawn out the process was, but I am so thankful D stayed with me for it all. Interesting Easter Sunday =)