The Good and Beautiful God

I'm so annoyed.  I got a $25 Walmart gift card in the mail last night from my credit card rewards points and after meeting Jess for dinner I headed over there quick to pick up some things.  I usually go to Kroger, but I figured I would go to Walmart and stock up on all the things I haven't wanted to buy.  Of course I got to the register and FORGOT to use my gift card!  Ugh... I was so annoyed with myself.  I mean, yeah, I still have it to use another time.. it's not the end of the world.  But the whole intent of that trip was to get free stuff!

In other news... I'm really enjoying this book that our pastor encouraged us to read.  It is called, "The Good and Beautiful God."  I have only read 2 chapters, but I like it.  The author starts out by explaining how we each have different 'narratives' which have inevitably shaped how we view things, think things, react to things, etc.  We were either taught specific things, or picked up on ideas through TV, school, friends... and were never taught opposing views, so we believe what we picked up on.  For example, my pastor's wife grew up not being allowed to go to the movies.  One day she went and came home with an awful stomach ache.  Her dad said, 'that is why we don't go to movies, that is what happens.'  The author wants us to think back on all the little 'narratives' like that, that we have been taught and hold them up to what Jesus taught.  In the example with my pastor's wife, she knows now that going to movies isn't wrong, and that you don't get a stomach ache from going to the movies... but since she had been taught that, she had to work really hard to 'kill' that thought process because it altered her perception of God.  She was being taught to know this God who was a judge, who would get angry and anything you did wrong, rather than being taught that she is loved unconditionally by this God who wants her to enjoy Him and His mercy.  That is what the author is getting at, that we really work hard to realize what we believe, what shapes our actions, and see if it's really true or not.

The second chapter in the book talks specifically about our view on evil things happening to good people/good things happening to evil people.  The author was in a situation a while ago, where his daughter was born with a disease where she wouldn't live long.  He sat down one day with a pastor friend of his who asked him, 'so who sinned?  You or your wife?'  That caused him to question his wife, wonder what she had done to make their daughter deserve this fate.  He struggled with that for a while until he realized the truth; God doesn't work like that.  Referring to a blind man, Jesus was once asked who had sinned, the blind man or his parents?  Jesus replied that neither had sinned, that he was given blindness so that God may be glorified.  Isn't that awesome!?  Jesus healed him right there.  The man hadn't sinned, his parents hadn't sinned to bring this blindness on him... God had a plan. So when bad things keep happening to someone, do I sometimes wonder what they are doing wrong?  Yes, I sometimes do.  Now, obviously there are immediate consequences for people making wrong choices sometimes... but that's not what he's talking about exactly.  There are other examples in scripture that give me a more accurate picture of God view on this situation, and this is definitely something that I'll have to work on.  It's like superstitions.  You KNOW if you step on a crack, you mom's back isn't going to break, but you still think about it.  I really do want to realize the 'narratives' in my life and compare them to what Jesus teaches and completely toss out the ones that are false.  I pray that I will be able to do that.

*thud*

So last night I suddenly woke up to this really loud noise, and wasn't sure where it came from.  After sitting up and making sure that I hadn't been shot (hey, you never know in my neighborhood), I wondered if the noise was just in my dream.  I heard Heidi get up and open her door so I figured she heard it too.  We looked out my window to see if maybe a branch broke off and fell on our roof.  I saw this huge lump and really long, creepy tail. Then is started scurrying around.  There was an opossum on our porch roof.  It was so big, and eww, I just hate opossums!  (Heidi thought it was a rat.  I said that I didn't want to live in this world any longer if rats could be that large)  They just don't look cuddly and their tails remind me of a shaved, scaly cat.  It was running from edge to edge, trying to figure how he was going to get out of this nasty predicament.  We  went to Heidi's room and looked out her blinds and there was another one, right up against her window!  I guess that made sense though, I thought.  Maybe they were siblings having a branch hanging contest.  Or maybe they were married (b/c in my mind, they need the same rules as Christian humans) and just cuddling there all peaceful, and all of a sudden their branch broke.  I don't know... either way, I'm sure they were both pretty annoyed (I remember thinking that these kinds of situations are where movie scripts must originate).  After that I couldn't sleep.  I kept imagining what could happen.  They were right outside my window, what if they swat their tail at my window and busted in to get me?  What if I went to leave for work in the morning and they soared down and attacked me from above (you know, like the flying squirrel type of dive).  It was 2:30 in the morning, in my mind, anything was possible.  Eventually I fell back asleep and woke up fully expecting to find them hanging by their tails off the edge of our gutters or splattered on the sidewalk.  I found neither.  I guess they are pretty resilient.  I just hope they don't hold grudges.

South Korea

Some things just happen so fast.  Heidi mentioned on Sunday that she had been thinking about going to South Korea to visit some friends of ours who are teaching over there.  She mentioned that I should come too because she was worried about all the hassles that can come along with international travel, seeing as how she's never been out of the country. I thought about it, deemed her serious and this trip, one that has the most potential of actually happening.  We both have the money, the motivation to visit friends, passion to explore new places... just both a little tight on vacation days.  But when it came to that last one, it's not like I could use that to discredit all the other things we had going for us.  Plus, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (AND I missed out on my international travels last year and spent that time with family and friends...) and you're always going to have to say 'no' to some things in life, so I may just have to say 'no' to a few other things I want to take days off for in the upcoming year.  But that's alright, I'm going to visit Brittani (Bird) and Kristen next month!!  I'm going to Changwon, South Korea!  Wow.  It will be so fun.  The girls don't work all day every day so there won't be many times that Heidi and I will be by ourselves; and when we are, we still have each other to explore with. It will be fun!  We fly in and out of Seoul, so hopefully we'll get to explore there a little bit too!  Why is it so tempting for me to quit my job and spend all my time traveling?

The Darker the Chocolate...

Dennis accompanied me last night to see Hairspray preformed by Liberty University's Theater group.  It was incredible.  I don't think the smile was wiped off my face the entire evening.  There's just something that overcomes me, that is really hard to explain, when great music, great acting, and great singing all come together so seamlessly.  It was fun =)

ugly

So I had this thought the other morning on my drive to work.

What would it be like to live in another world where our thoughts and other horrible 'inward actions' made up our outer appearance. I mean seriously... how ugly would we be?

our God is in control

something I 'borrowed' from another blog today and thought it was just a great reminder no matter if life is easy or difficult.  

this is not how it should be, this is not how it could be, but this is how it is, and our God is in control. this is not how it will be, when we finally will see, we’ll see with our own eyes, he was always in control. and we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God. and we will finally really understand what it means so we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God while we’re waiting for that day. this is not where we planned to be when we started this journey, but this is where we are and our God is in control. though this first taste is bitter, there will be sweetness forever. when we finally taste and see that our God is in control.

picture my sister took in europe this spring. love.