"Hello miss Marissa. You're like a mom so I was just calling to say 'happy mother's day'."
I wish there was a way to record and post it on here but I don't think I can.
Monday, May 14, 2012
mothers day
I had a voicemail from Princess (one of the young girls from my inner city ministry) this afternoon and it brought tears to my eyes when I listened to it -
I wish there was a way to record and post it on here but I don't think I can.
I wish there was a way to record and post it on here but I don't think I can.
Friday, May 11, 2012
unfailing love
God just crashed my pity party. No, seriously, He did. Rude, right?
There's an event on my heart today that in the eyes of mankind would allow for a totally legit and excusable pity party... tears and sob stories and all. I thought I would share it with you so you could join in on the 'fun' too. (Boy, aren't you lucky!?) I sat down and started typing. Word after word, sentence after sentence, describing my bleak feelings. But all of a sudden it became a battle. I wanted to sit here and feel sorry for myself, I wanted others to know how I was feeling but I kept running out of words, my mind literally went blank. I was just having these feelings, how could I forget them so quickly? But before I knew it, those thoughts and feelings were being replaced by the comfort and promises of my Father that I've been so grateful to cling to throughout this past year. Almost as if I'm trying to dig a hole on the shoreline and the waves continue to come up and push sand back in, every time I think something sad, it's filled in by a mighty wave of grace.
Can't I sit here and feel sorry for myself God!? Can't people have pity on me!?
Instead, why don't you tell them how faithful I've been to you?
But I'm kind of hurting right now, God.
I AM Yahweh-rapha
He is my healer and always will be. I would never wish pain on anyone, but if pain is what it takes for someone to know this about God, I would wish it for them (secretly:) ) I sometimes feel silly even talking about the pain in my life because it doesn't compare to the pain that others are going through, but maybe this is all He thought I could handle for now. Maybe He is preparing me for something bigger. Either way, I will praise Him for His faithfulness, healing, comfort, peace, affirmation, goodness... This past year has probably been one of the best of my life, I have no regrets and I can't forget that I have it pretty darn good.
"For His unfailing love toward those who love Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust." Psalm 103:11-14 (nlt)
There's an event on my heart today that in the eyes of mankind would allow for a totally legit and excusable pity party... tears and sob stories and all. I thought I would share it with you so you could join in on the 'fun' too. (Boy, aren't you lucky!?) I sat down and started typing. Word after word, sentence after sentence, describing my bleak feelings. But all of a sudden it became a battle. I wanted to sit here and feel sorry for myself, I wanted others to know how I was feeling but I kept running out of words, my mind literally went blank. I was just having these feelings, how could I forget them so quickly? But before I knew it, those thoughts and feelings were being replaced by the comfort and promises of my Father that I've been so grateful to cling to throughout this past year. Almost as if I'm trying to dig a hole on the shoreline and the waves continue to come up and push sand back in, every time I think something sad, it's filled in by a mighty wave of grace.
Can't I sit here and feel sorry for myself God!? Can't people have pity on me!?
Instead, why don't you tell them how faithful I've been to you?
But I'm kind of hurting right now, God.
I AM Yahweh-rapha
He is my healer and always will be. I would never wish pain on anyone, but if pain is what it takes for someone to know this about God, I would wish it for them (secretly:) ) I sometimes feel silly even talking about the pain in my life because it doesn't compare to the pain that others are going through, but maybe this is all He thought I could handle for now. Maybe He is preparing me for something bigger. Either way, I will praise Him for His faithfulness, healing, comfort, peace, affirmation, goodness... This past year has probably been one of the best of my life, I have no regrets and I can't forget that I have it pretty darn good.
"For His unfailing love toward those who love Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust." Psalm 103:11-14 (nlt)
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
gift of realistic expectations
I feel like I am a pretty sensible, realistic type of person but I suppose that could be up for debate sometimes! When it comes to marriage, I wonder how many of us single people have unrealistic expectations. How often do I say to myself, "oh, I'll be way better at communicating when I'm married", or "my insecurities will be erased when I have someone who has promised to love me unconditionally", or even "life will make more sense and marriage will give me a purpose"? I may be wrong, but I am guessing that I've been more influenced by books I've read and movies I've watched than real-life situations. How tragic and unfair would it be for me to stand at the alter and accept someone's promise of love while gluing these formed-in-my-mind (sometimes unconsciously) unrealistic expectations onto that man?
That's something I need to be working on now, while I am single. I don't really know how guys think but I am quite positive they have 'attained' a few unrealistic expectations of their own and what a beautiful gift that would be to erase all of those and see the other person for who they are rather than who you want to turn them into. For me, I know that I struggle with insecurity so it is important to me not to believe the lie that this issue can be solved by human love, no matter how deep and true. I know I am going to bring wounds into a relationship and I know that he will too, but I think that the more I practice leaning on God now for my healing, strength, security, purpose... the easier it will be to rely on my husband as my comrade, my friend and my help-mate, rather than expecting him to fill a role that only One can fill... my healer.
That's something I need to be working on now, while I am single. I don't really know how guys think but I am quite positive they have 'attained' a few unrealistic expectations of their own and what a beautiful gift that would be to erase all of those and see the other person for who they are rather than who you want to turn them into. For me, I know that I struggle with insecurity so it is important to me not to believe the lie that this issue can be solved by human love, no matter how deep and true. I know I am going to bring wounds into a relationship and I know that he will too, but I think that the more I practice leaning on God now for my healing, strength, security, purpose... the easier it will be to rely on my husband as my comrade, my friend and my help-mate, rather than expecting him to fill a role that only One can fill... my healer.
our inadequacy lets Him shine
We've been meeting with the UMA girls every Wednesday night this spring for Bible study and activities. This past Wednesday we took them strawberry picking and between all of us picked over 60 pounds! That's a lot of jam :)
Saturday I invited Jadia and Meena over to my house to bake cookies. Jadia said that she had never made cookies before and Meena thought she had until she realized that we were at the store buying eggs and flour rather than break apart cookie dough. I loved seeing her face light up when she realized that people actually made cookie dough and then made cookies!
These girls are so much fun. I feel very inadequate to be in the position of leading them/being their friend but I praise God for the constant reminders that I don't have to be a 'somebody' to make an impact. It doesn't matter that I don't have a college degree, they don't care. It doesn't matter that I am not a natural born leader or don't always have the right thing to say at the right time, they don't notice. It matters that I serve others in love. That's what I'm working on.
Wednesday, May 02, 2012
grandma says...
I wanted to space this post out a little bit from my last "Grandma Says" but I just couldn't bear to wait any longer. Grandma (bless her heart) is writing this portion of her letter to give me her opinion on something my little brother (22) did recently... Brian decided he had an interest in one of his little lady friends so he went to her father, who is also his pastor, and had a little mano-a-mano conversation just to let the father know of his interest and hear his thoughts. The fathers' thoughts were definitely positive, now let's hear grandma's:
"Brian called me last week and we talked a long time. Sounds like he might stay there this summer as he can get work there - or do you think there are other attractions? He told me all about the brainwashing conversation, although he didn't put it that way, with the father of a girl he might want to date. It sounds a little pre-historic to me. I married the one I fell in love with and it was love at first sight - or first kiss - about 70 years ago."
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