I feel like I am a pretty sensible, realistic type of person but I suppose that could be up for debate sometimes! When it comes to marriage, I wonder how many of us single people have unrealistic expectations. How often do I say to myself, "oh, I'll be way better at communicating when I'm married", or "my insecurities will be erased when I have someone who has promised to love me unconditionally", or even "life will make more sense and marriage will give me a purpose"? I may be wrong, but I am guessing that I've been more influenced by books I've read and movies I've watched than real-life situations. How tragic and unfair would it be for me to stand at the alter and accept someone's promise of love while gluing these formed-in-my-mind (sometimes unconsciously) unrealistic expectations onto that man?
That's something I need to be working on now, while I am single. I don't really know how guys think but I am quite positive they have 'attained' a few unrealistic expectations of their own and what a beautiful gift that would be to erase all of those and see the other person for who they are rather than who you want to turn them into. For me, I know that I struggle with insecurity so it is important to me not to believe the lie that this issue can be solved by human love, no matter how deep and true. I know I am going to bring wounds into a relationship and I know that he will too, but I think that the more I practice leaning on God now for my healing, strength, security, purpose... the easier it will be to rely on my husband as my comrade, my friend and my help-mate, rather than expecting him to fill a role that only One can fill... my healer.
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