from 'I' to 'we' in a way I never expected

because it's been just me for so long, I've been very aware of how often I've been saying 'we' this week. It used to be, 'I will be there' or 'I can do that' and has quickly become 'we will leave in...' 'we can do that'. I'd always imagined the 'we' looking much different though.

you're in your upper twenties, you didn't get married when all of your friends did so certainly you will by now and that's where your 'we' will begin. isn't it crazy how that is just the way that we think? it's even something that i've dreamed about for myself but fortunately (for God's plan), we aren't all exactly alike.

in this story, my 'I' became 'we' with receiving a distressed phone call and an immediate desire to help. 

a young girl who was a part of a ministry that I help lead was in immediate need of a home.

I have a home.

with zero training or preparation, proving this is something that only God can orchestrate, I am suddenly a foster mom to a 13-year-old girl.

there are so many questions that remain unanswered but if there is one thing I've learned - God doesn't ask us to care for the poor and needy, He demands it and demanding doesn't leave much room for me to ask questions or to worry about my needs or how I will be inconvenienced. it's about love, always about love.

so that's the story of how 'I' became 'we' and there's a real, live, God who gets the glory for it.

work weekend with the fam

this past weekend was an awesome work weekend. it was so wonderful to have my parents and brother down here to help me with projects around my house. dad and brian added a finishing railing and gate to my previously open ended deck. they also built a bench which i'm super excited about! i could have never done that on my own and they did it with no plans and no instructions or anything! boys are so talented, i'm jealous.




while the guys were working on their suntans outdoors; mom, annetta, and i were busy inside painting my half bath, replacing door knobs (bye bye shiny brass knobs), cleaning, painting doors, and making lunches and snacks (very important for this hard working fam!). three of my neighbors stopped by to say 'hi' and introduce themselves. Edith, an elderly lady up the street, even brought us a pan of delicious sticky buns straight out of the oven!




Jade, Demi, Ameria, and Aniah came by to see what all was going on and helped Annetta nail in the bench seat! my parents helped me out and bought a lot of things for my house which was so super amazing! i even got a brand new vacuum for my carpet!

love my family!

my house may not always be perfectly clean,
but let's hope it never  gets to looking like this again!

encourage

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'today', so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

Soo...I share that verse because this week Juli and the girls taught me what a gift encouragement really is. At UMA Bible study, Juli was talking to them about this verse and then had them practice by giving me encouragement 'gifts' for my birthday. They went around one by one and shared something they liked about me or an experience that we had together. Juli sent me everything they said and I couldn't help but want to brag on what awesome little girls I have in my life!

Early Street Encouragement....Happy 29th Birthday from all of us!!

Princess: I like hanging out with you. When you took me to the art place for my birthday, that was fun. and I love you.

Tia: reeeeally pretty. I don't know why you're still single. I like seeing you at Mrs. B's house every week. I like your hair and dimples

Jadia: I like everything about Miss Marissa

Pearl: I like you a lot

Jade: I like every time you come and I love you very very much!

Keri: you're pretty

Nay: I like your hairstyles. I like how you help us at Mrs. Bourdon's

Aniya: she's a good friend. She's really tall. She's smooth. Good clothes...and BIG announcement later, "her teeth are shiny"

Kelsey: when she made me chicken soup when I was sick. She is really thoughtful

Shavia: I like the way you are. You're very pretty

Demi: you're so sweet and so nice. That's why everyone loves you & I love your "pimples" (dimples) ;)

D: you're nice and pretty and when you came to visit me at lunch.

Najala: you got me out of lock down lunch. I like your face

Rachel: your heart is full of pure goodness. And you'll travel to any extent to help someone.

China: shirts, clothes, hairstyles, you look pretty

Ameria: you're kind & pretty & smart & always want to help someone

Bre: kindest hearted person I know. So helpful

Juli Ann: what Jadia said, and a heart of gold. You act on what your heart breaks for, you don't just talk about helping people, you do it

I still laugh every time I read this!

Valentine's UMA style

If the only reason God has me single right now was to share that with our UMA girls tonight... then I am so grateful. I hate talking about myself but to see 18 beautiful faces look up at me as I made a few earth shattering announcements: no, I am not married, I do not have a boyfriend and, I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 26 years old... their reactions made me laugh :) Juli and I have already talked about how we dream of all of them being at my wedding someday. Not to watch me, but having known me single and just being able to witness Gods design for marriage.

We held a Valentine's party for them and spent the evening sharing the difference in the kind of life they are used to, and the kind of life they deserve because of how special they are to Jesus. I pray that each of their precious hearts felt the love of Jesus that will never forsake them.

picture taken by my friend, Bre, at our valentine's party!

backpacking

i'm a little slow in getting this post up but someone smart once said, 'better late than never' and i listen to smart people.

well last weekend was our first ever uma girls backpacking trip led by yours truly and a new friend, hillary, who's recently hopped on the uma bandwagon. hillary is one of those people who i feel could do pretty much anything so i figured she would be pretty handy to have along. kidding! well it's true that i think she could do almost anything, but she's also super smart, i trust her judgement, and enjoy her company, so that's the real reason she got to come along! 

well friday night rolled around and we had plans of meeting next morning at 11 to start preparing and packing our packs. i was trying to keep the best eye i could on the weather for that weekend and according to what i could see, it wasn't looking very good. rain was at about a 65% probability but my biggest issue was that it was calling for the wet stuff from 4pm (about the time we'd be setting up camp) through the entire night and next day with a possibility of storms. i don't love backpacking in the chilly rain but even worse than backpacking in it is backpacking in it, setting up camp in it, trying to start a fire and cook dinner in it, then being forced to dive into your tents to hide from it. not to mention waking up to rain, packing everything up, and hiking back down the mountain in rain again. all that to say, that's where my mind went when i saw the forecast and my warm bed was sounding super nice at that moment. i called james saturday morning to get his opinion and he suggested that we still give it a go, even if we took the girls up there and decided to turn right back around, we didn't want to waste the weekend on the chance that the weather app could be incorrect.

so the girls came over to pack (2 girls out of 3 invited, not bad). hillary gave them a little backpacking 101 while i made some sandwiches for lunch. the girls listened and nodded a lot and as they finished, i thought about quizzing them on if capilene was something you ate or slept in... but i figured i'd give them a break their first trip :). they packed their bags beautifully (we spoiled them and gave them all the light stuff for their first trip) and we headed out to drive the approx. 1 1/2 hrs to our hiking destination. 

we made it to the top!

we decided on this particular hike because there is a beautiful waterfall that can be seen or heard the entire way up which is a nice distraction sometimes from the discomfort or pain that might be experienced as a first-timer. it didn't take long for my lazy butt to be put in a place of humility. the girls went flying up that mountain as i reminded them that 'we can take a break at any time you're tired!'. we made it the 1.7 switch-backed miles up that waterfall to the popular overlook which was absolutely beautiful. i love the attitudes these girls have, they recognized this trip as a challenge and came at it with the mentality of conquering, and they did! they didn't complain a single time, they said it was hard but they felt good about themselves! i just love them. after a couple pictures, we walked a little past the overlook to where we knew a campsite was. we got there to find a small tent already set up in the small open area so after looking around a little more, we decided to cross past the tent and over a creek to get to a larger open area on the other side. as we passed the tent, hillary called out to them but no one responded, probably out hiking the a.t. and would be back later that evening. it was about 4pm when we started unpacking and setting up camp in the beautiful fall weather, not a rain cloud in sight. the girls were incredibly helpful and it wasn't long before the tents were all set up and ready to be slept in and we had a fire going with sticks we had gathered. we roasted some spiderdogs (a new uma camping staple) and made some backpackers mac and cheese with some water we'd boiled on the camp stove. it made for a delicious dinner that we enjoyed while hillary read us the beginning to a story. 

spiderdogs over the fire

afterwards, while the girls were cleaning up dinner, hillary questioned me as to my thoughts on the tent we had passed earlier. it was probably 50 feet from us on the other side of the creek and we could see enough of it to know that there had been no movement since we'd arrived at camp. i innocently hadn't suspected a thing until she said that it made her a little uneasy mainly because it just wasn't normal to have a tent with no activity. we decided to give it a little more time as we could still hear families walking on the trails a short distance away. after dinner was cleaned up, the girls then asked us about the tent which made her even more uneasy so we decided that if we were going to spend the night there, we had to go over and check it out. so we gathered together and said a little prayer for safety and wisdom and with as calm of faces as we were able to put on, hillary and i crossed the creek to check it out a little closer, pepper spray and backpacker saws in each pocket of course. she suggested we approach it as just wanting to 'meet the neighbors' as we didn't want to give off any indication of the small group of girls that we were. all of a sudden i felt extremely vulnerable; we were 4 small girls, 2 small tents, parked at the top of a mountain, right next to a loud creek. nervously, we called out to whoever may (or may not) be in the tent. still nothing. there was a huge part of me that was positive that no one was there and there was nothing to fear but there was also a small part that wanted to listen to hillary's instincts and question that there really might be something about this tent to fear. after a few minutes of indecision, we walked back over to the girls and again, as calmly as possible, discussed our options. we made it clear that we didn't really think we were in danger, but because we were feeling a little uneasy, we might want to pack up and camp somewhere else. we prayed again for wisdom and clarity in making a decision and because the light was almost entirely gone from the sky by this point, we decided to pack up as quickly as possible and head down. 

night hike

we both agree that we may have just spooked ourselves out that night but i think about how easy of a target we were if someone did have a mind to find us that night. plus, it wasn't just us, we had these 2 teenage girls, on their first backpacking/hiking/camping trip who were learning to trust us to make a decision that was best for everyone. by the time we made it back to the semi-empty parking lot, it was about 8:30pm. i asked the girls if they'd rather me just take them home, or else hillary offered that we could go to her parents' house and camp out on their farm. the girls shocked me and said they definitely wanted to camp so we were still able to have a really great camping trip with a sink to brush our teeth in! all in all, it was a great experience and i think we all learned a ton. the girls were challenged but they felt so good about themselves after that they said they are up for something a little more challenging next time! we have plans in 2 weekends to take them for a more challenging backpacking trip where we will end up meeting up with some guys from our group who plan to up camp a short ways away from us, just close enough to hear a call for help!

awesome weekend

happy monday wednesday (i forgot i never posted this!) it's not even 10 o'clock and i've got some insane chocolate cravings going on. thankfully i have a dollar bill and a vending machine to remedy that!

man, what a great weekend it was! friday was THE moving day for the roommate and i. a few of our wonderful friends came over after work to load up trucks and take stuff over. the most amazing part was that it only took us one trip to get everything!  i don't mind the moving part so much as the packing and unpacking. when you live in a house for two years (or longer) you definitely start to accumulate things that don't necessarily have a place, but you just make a place and then get accustomed to seeing it there. moving allows you to see through a new set of eyes (eyes that say 'i don't need you crap') and get rid of items that you were hanging onto 'just in case.' <take a deep breath> purging junk is like that... refreshing :)

saturday morning was spent at the jcrew warehouse madness sale. these sales used to be great but now it's easily described as mayhem. the doors open at 8, we got there at 6am to find over 100 people sitting, standing, and sleeping on the front lawn in the pitch black. thankfully we were in the right place at the right time when the mess started to form into a line as the sun rose and we snuck in near the front which was great because if you aren't a part of the first 250 people in the building, you're pretty much guaranteed to be waiting outside another two hours no matter how early you got there! i got a few things that i really like so it was worth it but i'm definitely not doing that again until lynchburg filters itself of college students.

i had to quickly run home from the sale to quickly meet up with uma peeps to go rappelling. we led a group our to our signature spot on the parkway, ravens roost. with us were two sisters named raven and malia as well as their brother, jr, and tweety and phoenix. tweety and jr are regulars to the group but the girls are who juli and i have been praying to be able to reach out to for such a long time. the lord opened doors for us to do that last thursday and we've been so giddy ever since. i know it may still be a struggle at times but i pray with all my heart that their maker brings them to a point where they know and love him as their father and delight in living a new life surrendered to his awesome plan. fear is huge in their culture but i think what makes it so huge isn't the fear itself but the lack of trust. i take for granted that i had two loving parents who taught me that early on. when i was little and my daddy said 'jump' i knew he would be there to catch me. i doubt any of our kids have grown up with that. it's more of a 'everyone i know is just looking out for themselves so i just look out for myself' mentality. malia was the most brave and, with a big grin, backed right over that edge. we were all shocked but it was awesome. raven was really scared - she had her harness on and was all clipped in and backing up towards the edge and froze. i've said this before and i'll say it again, one of the things that i love and admire most about james, juli, and uma is that the lessons that come to each kid from an experience or facing a fear are way more important that anything else, including our time. sitting there with the child for a very long time and talking them through their fear shows them that the steps they've already taken to get to this point are important, what they are about to do is important and most of all, they are important. when better to have a discussion about fear than when they are strapped to a rope about to stick their tush out over a 90' cliff? eventually everyone who strapped in went down and it was just incredible - i am SO proud of each of them! i also met a new friend, hillary, who's begun helping us out with trips. i look forward to getting to know her better and see how the lord uses us in each others lives.

i visited a new church on sunday morning to witness one of my co-workers getting baptized. wow. what an amazing baptism service. i'd never seen someone other than a pastor baptize so it was a little different to see fathers, mentors, and other family members baptizing. at first i focused on questioning if this was a biblical method or not but i'm pretty sure that wasn't what God wanted me to dwell on during my time there. one of the first to get baptized was a young girl, about the age of 9. she stepped up into the tub as her family surrounded her. with her daddy kneeling down by her side and holding her hand tightly, he began to share his little girls' testimony with the church. more than just emotional (i still get the chills when i remember it), it was an awesome showing of this dad's involvement in his children's spiritual lives. before his church and family, he was boasting in what God was doing through his daughter and i think that so beautifully portrays how a christian family should be. without saying it, he was publicly vowing to do his part in raising his children in their faith. tears definitely escaped my eyes as she came back up from under the water and jumped into her dad's arms for a huge bear hug. a number of other people were baptized and then my co-worker came up to share his testimony. i've had the opportunity to talk with him at work throughout the past few months as he's been in this awful, dark pit in his life. it took him a while to see it but eventually the fog started to clear and he began to see God's hand reaching down to him and as he put it in his testimony, "it'd always been there, just waiting for him to reach up and grab it." well the testimony was beautiful, but that's not what i was thinking as he shared. he was very honest about the wrong decisions he's made, his pending divorce, and how he's failed as a father and husband. he shared in details that made me sink low in my chair and cringe on the inside. 'why did you have to share that?' <cringe> 'why couldn't you have kept the story generic without sharing the details?' it wasn't long before God started tugging on my heart with a gentle reminder of who he is. he was like, 'why do you want him to use the flowery words that you've always used?' 'isn't it awesome that i can save someone such as him..and you?' my eyes were opened to the realization that i've always seen church as a place to hide your sins before entering the door. but that's so not what God's all about. he wants me to see my sin for the nastiness that it is, and then turn and praise him for being the only one that can turn it white as snow. and that's exactly what my friend was doing up there. he wasn't boasting in his former life, he was boasting in his God who healed and transformed him, his God who literally pulled him up from the dark, scary pit and placed his feet on solid ground. he'd found a church family who made him feel comfortable sharing where he'd been so they could praise God for where he'll bring him. that's what made it beautiful.

rappelling

my first decent

second time down - practically a pro (ya right)

i'm freeeeee free fallin'

thankfully not really.

with a major amount of cheering and encouragement, i rappelled my first cliff yesterday. it was a crazy awesome experience.

we took the UMA leaders out to "raven's roost" on the blue ridge parkway, a very popular spot for outdoor climbing and rappelling  our hope is to be able to take the kids out sometime soon but i didn't feel quite right encouraging them to do it until i'd done it myself!

i'm so thankful i had the opportunity to go with people with whom i've built a trust - i hope the kids will feel the same way.


i love adventure but this silly little thing called 'fear' keeps wanting to get in the way. fear and trust are major topics that we talk with our kids about. not only do us leaders all have a passion for the outdoors and adventure, but we love how vividly they parallel the believer's walk with God. trust is sometimes easy and sometimes difficult. learning to trust these things that we can see (i.e. harness, rope, people) can help our hearts to learn to better trust our God, especially when we are afraid. 

when i got to the bottom i practiced climbing a little bit but really need to work on those skills! i repelled a second time and even braved an extremely quick glance at the ground, 80 feet below me.

i saw a harness on sale this morning and actually almost bought it but talked myself out of that craziness. praying that lessons learned from this experience will stick with us all and the Lord would use them to bless others with the gift of trusting in him.

amazing friends

UMA July Camping

I just sat down to watch 'Date Night' ... alone. Ironic?
Kelsey and I were able to take our UMA girls camping this weekend. Eight girls came, including two sisters who have recently moved back to the neighborhood. Whenever I start to wonder if God answers prayers, I think of UMA in recent months and how Juli and I used to ask God for girls when it seemed that they were all leaving the neighborhood. He has provided and I am confident that each one has been hand selected to cross paths with UMA. If that doesn't make you giddy inside, I don't know what would! Even though that's only a small glimpse of a miniscule part of His eternal plan, I'm thankful for it.
We took them to a state campground about an hour from Lynchburg. We set out our tents (the girls are great helpers) and quickly got the fire roaring for spiderdogs. I was introduced to spiderdogs a few years ago by some friends and these girls have loved them ever since I showed them. After dinner we walked to the lake to check it out and had a little devotional. With the recent storm and massive, disruptive power outages we talked about our own power source in our lives. After listing off things that made life difficult with no power, we then talked about how life can be difficult. How we get stressed, worn down, and frustrated and don't think we have enough energy for one more step... there's someone who has promised us He would be our refuge, strength, provider, protector; our power source. I gave the girls verses to read like Psalm 32:8 and 34:5, also John 15:5-7. 'Do you believe the words of the Bible are true' I asked them. They answered yes and we read each of these verses a second time just to allow God's promises to sink in a little deeper... for all of us. I want these young ladies to believe, to really believe, that God's Word is truth. To believe it even when another way seems brighter or someone lies to them. It was a great lesson for me as well.
Alright, this movie is too funny... Steve Carell and Tina Fey-excellent combination. More camping stories to come :)
Movie is over and I'm back! Did you miss me? I thought so.
The rest of the trip went pretty well and was a great experience of taking charge and calling the shots. Following other people comes way more naturally to me than leading ever has; decision making isn't my strongest trait. I guess you might compare me with Moses in the Bible. God had a sovereign plan to make a leader out of that timid, behind-the-scenes man... a leader for His purpose and glory. I don't know why He's placed me in this position with these girls but maybe you'll wonder as well and then be able to give Him glory for all that He will do!