morning prayer

Spirit of the Living God, fall fresh on me
Spirit of the Living God, fall fresh on me
Melt me, mold me, fill me use me
Spirit of the Living God, fall fresh on me

f-r-i-d-a-y

well this day is going by way too slowly, as fridays were meant to do. i've gotten a little work done today but for a lot of it, i just can't seem to find the motivation necessary to get started. one of our ae's called me yesterday saying he has a meeting tuesday with a local car dealer to propose an idea. he wants me to come up with some slides to put into his powerpoint to show the client. i'm struggling. buried beneath that i have a project for an audiology place that's been sitting on my desk for who knows how long. first they couldn't decide what they wanted, then i was on vacation, then they were on vacation, then i was on vacation. now we both should be back, but i don't want to pick up the project again, probably with reasons of fear that they still aren't sure what they want. it's a free/trade spot (actually 4 spots) we're doing for them so that causes me to lose some motivation as well. i will have to call them soon, but i will keep the ball rolling slowly by using the, 'let's not rush into this so that we can come out with exactly what will make you happy' line and that should work for the both of us... until my boss lays another stack of work orders on my chair.

here's a challenge to me. to admit at least once a day to someone that i was wrong. whether to a co-worker, dennis, a roommate... my first step to stepping on my pride, or giving it a giant roundhouse kick to the side, whichever way you want to envision it.

hell on earth

last night in Bible study Josh talked about fear and anxiety. Abraham was a great example because fear and anxiety is always rooted in not trusting God. Abraham was given all these promises from God, Himself, and he turned right around and didn't believe the promises fully by the decisions he made and by some of his actions. Josh asked us what our biggest fear was. what caused the biggest amount of anxiety in our lives. we broke up into smaller groups and discussed. the way he got us to answer, was he told us to answer the question, 'what would your hell on earth be?' that helped narrow it down a little, but i do know that there are many things that cause fear and anxiety. i answered that my hell on earth would be a world where everyone disapproved of me. i am a people pleaser. i base my decisions and actions around what is easiest for other people and what will make them like me the most. someone else in my group mentioned theirs would be if everyone started off assuming that he was wrong. i totally understood and adopted that that one as my own. it bothers me (and yes, it's all from pride) when someone doesn't give me a fair chance to possibly be right about something. and if that weren't enough, i felt i needed to add another. someone else mentioned their hell on earth is receiving no glory. he feels frustration when the wrong people get glory and he feels like he's trying to do good things and gets cast under the mat. again, it's all in pride, and we all agreed with that... but how often so i do that as well? i get frustrated when people don't notice my attempts at trying to be good and 'better' than other people.

so that'd be my hell on earth. now that i've recognized those few things, i need to keep them in my mind. i need to realize when i am letting them control me. i need to pray. God already knows i keep doing it. i'm sure i've frustrated Him with it plenty of times.

SURPRISE!

SOOO... I actually surprised D for his birthday. His birthday was Thursday and we went out to dinner in Roanoke which was fun. Friday, after his last day of work, he and his buddy, Stone, were going fishing for a few hours. I decided that would be a great night to get people together and try to surprise him. I called Stone up and we decided on a way to get Dennis to go over to Stone's house after fishing (and a back-up plan in case he didn't want to) and I made up a couple excuses saying I would be busy around the time they were finishing up fishing so that he wouldn't want to hang out with me... because naturally, he ALWAYS does. =) I was able to get off work a couple hours early, started making the cake at my house and then met my friend Kristi at Stone's to start working on the pizzas. There was quite a bit involved in making them because I wanted them all to be from scratch (minus the secret, EASY, pizza dough recipe). We had all the pizza crusts pre baked and toppings on them and cake frosted by the time Stone called saying Dennis was about 5 minutes away. It was a fun surprise and the pizza's were a big hit, exactly what I wanted.

Roasted eggplant and olive pizza with provolone cheese and fresh parsley.

A goat cheese and zucchini pizza with fresh basil.

And my new favorite was the fresh mozzarella and asparagus.

And how can we have Dennis's birthday without something chocolate and peanut butter?

i don't wanna grow up

sometimes i just don't want to grow up. i really like my life at the age i am. i have enough responsibility to feel well....responsible, and enough fun and energy to enjoy my age. vacation time at work is always an issue for me. there never seems to be enough, no matter how many i am allowed. my co-worker just returned from a week's 'vacation' and when i asked him how it was, he said he read two books and was bored the rest of the time. my other two co-workers recently took vacation time to college hunt with their children. i was so appalled at each. now, as i am typing this, however, i realize that where i am currently at in life affords me to be a selfish person. i don't have anyone that i need to give up my time for - i can use it however i please. someday i may be married and someday i may have children. when that time comes, i will not be selfish and will use my vacation time not on me, but centered on them. for now - i don't wanna grow up. is that bad?