budgeting

budgeting used to come fairly easy to me but now I just feel lost and i'm not sure why. i've been thinking about it a lot lately, i've even started to write up a budget but i get hung up on too many bumps.  'how can i make a budget when both of my paychecks each month are inconsistent from month to month?' 'what do i do about random expenses?' 'should i do cash only, is that kind of control worth missing out on airline miles/cash back rewards?' so on and so forth.  i got paid over the weekend and after my credit card expenses from last month were paid, i took out $100... a nice, even amount.  that should last me for... a week?  is that reasonable? i mean, i am just one person. i think i just want a rhyme and a reason to the money spending, a method to the madness... i want a little more control, and i think that's a good thing right now. i've always been fortunate enough to have a backup money supply (even though i try to pretend it isn't there so i won't touch it).  that means that sometimes i justify buying things because even though i probably shouldn't spend the money, i know in the back of my mind that i won't go broke.  i am old enough to realize that the 'back-up' won't always be there so i need to start learning to live without it.  i need to give myself a reasonable budget each week and think ahead...  what needs to be done this week?

thinking ahead is a lost art that is going to take more than just searching behind a few sofa cushions to find! i think back to how i envision life was for my grandmothers (the glorious, simple days in my opinion). they didn't have cell phones with the internet or easy access to vehicles, grocery stores, etc... they HAD to plan, they had to remember. let's say they were able to make one grocery store trip a week. that would mean that not only do they have to map out everything their family will need for 3 meals a day, it also might be their only trip into town that week, period. they would need to remember the birthday party 7 days later that they need to buy a gift for and a dessert!  they would need to stop by the bank and the drugstore and the fabric store. that life has always made an impression on me, it is so respectable and it completely embodies what i think a woman should be like, especially a godly woman. we were born to multi-task, we can be good at it but sometimes our multi-tasking gets steered in the wrong direction when consumed with worldly pursuits. this is the type of woman we read about in Proverbs 31, the type of woman that i dream of being one day should the Lord bless me with a family to care for. the point is... i dream of this, but it's not going to happen over night. i'm not going to get married and all of a sudden be able to perfectly plan and schedule a week. i'm not going to pop out a child and suddenly create perfectly organized meal plans and freezer meal ideas. i need to start practicing now because even though i like to tell myself that it will come more naturally with a family because that is what i am passionate about... i can't put the small things off and i can't waste this time.