"I know who I want to be...."

Sorry if that title doesn't make any sense. It's just a quote from a movie that I like, ( not so much the movie as much as I just like the quote;)

ARG! I made myself so angry this morning and I didn't feel like just calling anyone up to complain about what a dork I am so I am just going to type and try and release all the aggression through my fingertips onto the screen

So I started out a little upset on the drive into work for a few different reasons and everything just seemed to be going wrong (which shouldn't be happening on a Monday morning, that's like a rule or something isn't it? Somewhere....) Anyways, the weather isn't the greatest, it snowed a little and there is some ice out. I'm driving along listening to a surprising number of accidents being reported on every station I flip to on the radio, and I slow down because I see a guy stop his car on the side of the road and running to the other side. I quick glance across and see this car smashed head on into this enormous tree in someone's yard. I notice that I recognize the guy who stopped as a friend from chruch so I decide that I should probably stop because noone else has. Of course I'm a dork and can't decide (I SOOO wish I had half the heart of compasion this guy has for people) what to do so I drive a bit and finally turn around and go past it and turn around again and go past again. Why didn't I stop? I...DON'T...KNOW!! It wasn't a huge deal I dont think that I didn't stop right away because everyone was okay and stuff, it's much more the fact that I told myself I should have stopped to help and had the feeling like I should have but didn't anyways. Do you know that feeling? So I pass again, feeling like a total looser and the meanest person on the planet and there is another accident RIGHT in front of me that had just happened. This one covered the entire road so everyone was stopped and I was like, "Okay girl, you can't pass through to get to the gas station or to work right now so get yer rear end right back there and DO SOMETHING about what this whole conscience situation!" I stopped behind Tim's van as he's ready to run back across the road, I talk to him a little to see how everyone is and we both head out. AH! Why didn't I feel any better?? It's one of those times where you can picture yourself acting a certain way in a situation but in real life you just say you can't do it that way and then feel extremely regretful afterward. Ug, that pretty much describes my life. Lovely. There were kids, why didn't I stop to see how they were doing? I don't know. Why didn't I stop to see if they needed a car for later in the day to pick the kids up from school? I don't know. Haha well I'm starting to realize that this isn't helping. I guess the only thing I can hope for is that this regret will drive me to help people every other time!