first mother's day

yeah... that pretty much says it all.

at the beginning of the journey, we can not even fathom the rewards He has planned if only we will trust and obey.

John Piper and the Prosperity Gospel

Do I need God?

Do you feel like you need God daily?

I mean, I can say the words to Him because I want to need Him but that's not the same as knowing how utterly helpless and needy I actually am. I wonder though, is this lack of need because I face every day with the plan to live out Marissa's agenda? Because if that's why, then I'm correct, I don't really need Him for that.
But what if I want more? What if I want these days I've been given to count for eternity? What if I truly desire the full life that Jesus offers in His kingdom of 'the lease shall be the greatest'?

Oh my Savior, how I need thee! Every hour I need thee!

Psalm 112:1

every time I answer my door, it's a new surprise. this afternoon I got to hear a story that made my heart smile.

"Miss Marissa, today at school, I was standing in the lunch line behind a boy who had a broken foot and I prayed for him"

that's all she wanted to say before going off again to play with her friends, and I closed the door, so grateful to be a part of her special little life.

"well that happened..."

it's a phrase I've found myself using a lot lately. sometimes it's related to a situation I just had no control over, or maybe I made a decision that I later regretted because of the outcome. I guess it's my way of dealing with something that didn't go the way I'd imagined but unfortunately there's no turning back. by vocalizing, maybe I think the situation will then mend itself, "that happened, nothing I can do now, time to just move on." If only it were that simple to put the past behind.

I don't know about you, but I am way to quick to allow a particular thought or feeling rule my mind. And when I say rule, I mean it. straight up idolizing that feeling, worshiping even. I can think on that feeling and that feeling only.

so that happens... what's so wrong with that? I had one of those days recently. I just wanted to pout and hide myself by running. the problem is, what was controlling my mind? I was. me. that same night where I was really struggling, Jesus spoke to me though one particular page in my devotional.

I am renewing your mind. when your thoughts flow freely, they tend to move toward problems. Your focus gets snagged on a given problem, circling round and round in attempts to gain mastery. Your energy is drained away from other matters through this negative focus. Worst of all, you lose sight of Me.

 Jesus, my victory and sole source of strength. how could I lose sight of you so quickly? and look what happens when I quit seeking your face? I am so incredibly weak.

A renewed mind is Presence-focused. Train your mind to seek Me in every moment, every situation...I am always present in your spirit. Seek My face, speak to Me, and I will light up your mind.