But I'm not ready!

There are a thousand ways to magnify Christ in life and death. None should be scorned. All are important. But none makes the worth of Christ shine more brightly than sacrificial love for other people in the name of Jesus. If Christ is so valuable that the hope of His immediate and eternal fellowship after death frees us from the self-serving fear of dying and enables us to lay down our lives for the good of others, such love magnifies the glory of Christ like nothing else in the world. 

This is a quote by John Piper in his recently released book, "Risk is Right". I've downloaded a copy because it's free but I hate reading long things on my computer, so I haven't gotten very far, but that quote has stuck with me. God's been speaking to me in a way lately that I've never heard before, or never listened before. He's molding my heart to be more like His and I have done nothing on my own except to finally be willing. To finally commit to setting aside the prideful ways of my heart, seek where He is, and follow. It's not the easiest but He makes is worth while. It's not the most fun, but He promises joy and fulfillment. I've become more and more aware of the control that a 'self-serving fear of dying' can have on me. That fear is exactly where the Enemy wants me because I am incapable of doing anything for God's Kingdom when God is not my banner going into this war.

One thing I've been taught in my Bible study recently is that when God calls people to an assignment, He's not calling us because we already have the perfect skill-set for the job, He just wants obedience. Look at Abraham, Moses, and Saul (Paul); my favorite examples. Moses wasn't a professional desert tour guide and he hadn't taken public speaking classes in school. Abraham hadn't fathered a nation before, in fact, he'd messed up even becoming a father in the first place. And Paul, I couldn't think of anyone more opposite to send to the Gentiles. But God still called each of them to do great things for Him. Moses wasn't crazy about the idea but he obeyed and helped release the Israelites from Egyptian bondage, Abraham left when God said 'leave', and Saul basically became an entirely new person once God gave him a task to do.

I know what God's calling me to do and I've known from the start that I wasn't ready for it. Even the things that I thought I might be ready for, He proved me wrong! Suddenly that calling is taking a slightly new turn and all I want to do sometimes is scream, "I'M NOT READY FOR THIS!" There is that old saying, "If He's brought you to it, He'll bring you through it" I can trust Him to prepare me for what lies ahead, I can lean on Him every step of the way. I can humble my heart and let Him lead and watch Him do great and wonderful things.

The Lord Is My Shepherd
A Psalm of David.
23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. 

3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake. 

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. 

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; 

my cup overflows.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lordforever.