Tuesday, August 18, 2009

feelings talk - still a dreaded word

It isn't my intention to make this a "sympathy" post, just a strong reminder of how I feel now so that later in life when I'm raising my own kids, I don't allow them to grow up with the same problems I have.

My friend said something the other day about if a certain situation were to happen she would be absolutely furious. I got to thinking about that, if I'd be furious in the same situation... then I got to thinking if I'd ever be furious. It's such a strong reaction and a strong emotion to have. I don't think I have strong reations or emotions. Do I ever even get angry? I can't think of a time I've been angry. I can think of plenty times where I've been annoyed or simply bothered, but not angry. How does that come to be? I know it has something to do with how we were raised. We weren't raised to show emotions. What happens when you don't show emotion? You make a habit of hiding it. Showing emotion is embaressing. Even if it's a good emotion, it's automatically supressed. That's HORRIBLE... okay, maybe I'm getting a little angry now. Maybe the reason I don't have strong reactions and emotions is that I don't think through things? Anyways, back to what I was saying earlier - it's so horrible to suppress emotions because I can never talk through feelings with people.

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